


Providence

by theheartchoice



Series: Bot-Lover [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Cleaning, Clueless Dean Winchester, Coda, Demon Blood, Destiel (if you tilt your head and squint), Drinking to Cope, Ficlet, Ficlet Collection, Hunters & Hunting, Late at Night, Lonely Dean Winchester, Lovecraftian, M/M, Motels, POV Dean Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Pizza, Pizza Delivery Person Castiel (Supernatural), Post-Hunt (Supernatural), Pre-Castiel/Dean Winchester, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Profoundbot Prompts, Purgatory, Research, Season/Series 06, Soulless Sam Winchester, minor references to canonical violence, seafood squick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 23:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19778470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheartchoice/pseuds/theheartchoice
Summary: Dean doesn't miss the apple-pie life, not really. He's a Hunter and this is what they do, this is the life for him. Doesn't mean he can't do with some small comforts now and then, or some hope - even if it's just a clue to find a way to stop the stuff of nightmares from wreaking havoc on the world. Pizza helps, too.





	Providence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saltnhalo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltnhalo/gifts).



> Written for the bi-weekly _Bot-Stat_ challenge hosted by [# **ProfoundBond Discord**](https://profoundnet.tumblr.com/discord):
>
>> _Dean is cleaning his gun._   
>  _Cas is the pizzaman._   
>  _Sam is on the demon blood again._
> 
>   
> prompt issued: July 9th, 2019 [2 of 2] ~~_i'm always late_~~
> 
> I wanted to avoid crack so naturally I went with the angsty setting of Season 6. This one's for Emma. 😘

So she broke things off.

_..unclip the mag.._

So what?

_..clear the chamber.._

Not like Dean really expected it to last, right?

_..this cloth probably needs to be thrown.._

Guess it was nice while it lasted.

_..where's the pipe cleaner?.._

Maybe it would've been nice to last a while longer.

 _..need more oil_.. 

Had a whole year, though. And it was a pretty good year, as Hunter standards go.

 _..should grab some rock salt, too.. runnin' low_.. 

Sure as hell wasn't perfect. Dean was no model boyfriend or parental figure, not with all his baggage, his demons.

 _..need to make a list.. probably need a bunch of stuff.. wonder if Soulless Sammy's hacked any more cards yet_.. 

That life ain't the thing to miss, though. That's not the life for him. He misses _them_ \- her smile, her strength, her warmth; little Ben growing up so fast, Dean pained he'll miss the rest. But he's not _that guy_ \- Mr. Family Man. They deserve better.

_..they can hit the store before they leave town - Baby needs fuel, they need snacks for the road, grab some Johnny to replace the backup - get outta dodge before the rains come.. Sam can find 'em a case once they hit the interstate.. with any luck they'll find some monster to gank by nightfall.._

Dean's only halfway through with their arsenal when his stomach reminds him he's past due for supper. Dinner had been a bust; Soulless Samneeds a lesson in acceptable menu classics, asap. Forget beheading a vamp with a baseball bat that he could've sworn wasn't on the pitch a moment earlier - Dean'll be lucky not to get salmonella poisoning from that so-called food. 

The mini fridge is bare, the cooler barer - unless you count half a dozen syringes of Dead-Man's blood. Dean doesn't, but considering Sam's choice for dinner maybe he does. Never again. Sam is _off_ food-duty until further notice.

What Dean could really go for right now is some pizza. Extra Large and all to himself. There's gotta be takeout menus around here somewhere.

He's barely scuffed one boot over the worn carpet when there's a rap at the door. At midnight. Sam wouldn't knock. Soulless Sam even less likely. 

Grabbing one from the newly-cleaned stash, Dean silently draws up into the crook of wall between door and curtained window, gun cocked. Swift to pull it open and hard to throw himself against it. On the other side of that door is the last person Dean expected to see. " _Cas_?" Standing in a fuzzy halo of sickly yellow halogen, holding a goddamned miracle in his arms. "Is that pizza?"

"I thought you might be hungry."

"For _me_?" Cas nods. Dean yanks him - and the pizza - inside. "I'm starved, actually. That's some good timin'."

And so much for the brief trip into Bizarro World where a certain Angel actually respects personal space; Cas' hands are on him already - shoulder and forehead as he tries to lean over the table, flipping the lid to inspect the toppings. _Meatlovers and extra BBQ sauce. Awesome_. But those hands are turning him away from pizza, now. "What's up with you?"

"You're not in any stage of starvation, Dean. You're in perfect health. Aside from you-.. your _wrist_." He takes Dean's arm from bicep to sprain without hesitation. "What happened?"

It's kinda hard to shrug outta the grip of a guy who could literally throw you as far as the eye can see. "Vamp nest. But we got 'em, no biggy." No more deaths once they arrived in town, too, which was a nice change. "Can we eat? Sam bought, like, raw fish for dinner, man. Think it's still swimmin' around in there." Dean eyes the garbage where he tossed his takeout container, forcing back bile at the memory: one hasty bite before he'd realised his mistake. It had been.. _slimy_. 

One of Cas' hands slips from his bicep to palm over Dean's stomach. The other leaves his wrist at least, so Dean seizes the moment and steals the nearest slice from the box; chase away a bad memory with something good. _Oh, yeah.. screw clouds - this is heaven._

 _"Nihon unagi._ " 

"Huh―?" Dean tries not to let the precious pizza tumble from his mouth. 

"Freshwater eel. And they're not swimming. Not consciously, anyway."

Dean's jaw stills. He stares at Cas. 

"Digestive enzymes."

_Oh, 'course._

Cas' eyes refocus on Dean's pizza. No - his hand. His injury. "May I..?" 

Mid-chew, Dean figures it can't hurt. He switches his pizza from right to left and holds out the sprain he'd forgotten he had. 

Cas' hand closes careful around it, a slip of warmed ice flowing quick through Dean's veinsa.. and then his minor injury is minor no more.

"Thanks," Dean murmurs, and follows it with another mouthful of beef and pepperoni.

Cas leaves him to his second slice to survey the room. "Where is Sam?"

"Li'b'ary.." _This_ is food. This is what every meal should taste like. All the meat, rich with smokey goodness. "R'se'rch."

"I thought you said the case was over?" Cas regains some proximity to the little round table where Dean stands with hips hugging the large pizza box. He takes a few moments to chew, swallow - rushing the savour-part, but Angels don't really understand the pleasure of a good pizza-pie, now do they?

"Not that. Purgatory." With slice #3 in hand he realises he's got nothing to wash it down with. Slightly annoyed, he leads Cas past the bed laden with guns to the one neatly made with a duffel bag open on top. He pulls out a book, hands it over. "Officially, it's a work of fiction, and we still don't really know what we're dealin' with exactly, but.." He takes another bite. "..There may be a way to counteract the spell Crowley plans on usin'. Last line of defense, sorta thing."

Cas goes pensive and Dean goes back to his pizza, leading Cas over to their Wall of Crazy. They're still trying to track Crowley's whereabouts. It's ongoing. Vamps get beheaded on slow progress days.

"It's almost midnight."

_So..?_

"The library would be closed."

Dean gawks. "You know what time libraries close in small-town America?" Cas nods, clearly not seeing the issue. _Whatever_. "Not a library, a church. Secret archive in the foundations. The pastor, Father Roberto, let him in. A favour for takin' care of the vamps." The fact that one of them had been a colleague of his must've hit close enough to home to warrant unlocking the storm shelter: a small basement room stocked with Hunter-esque reads. The guy had only been in there once - twice, including when he caught his former colleague breaking the rules with B&E (and reading). 

They may not find anything but since Sam doesn't need sleep nowadays he agreed to pull the all-nighter and check for certain before they skip town. 

Gaze flitting from Dean and his pizza to the leatherback book in his hands and up to the Crazy Wall, Cas keeps his thoughts to himself. He looks concerned, wary almost.

"You okay?"

Cas turns the book over, gently. "Where did you get this?" he says to the back cover.

"St. Bruno's. Got quite the collection of lore stashed away in the basement, but Roberto confiscated that one from one of the vamps, before.." Dean trails off, leaving out the details of his bloody foul ball at the local park. "Demonic possession's a big feature, no surprises there. Some monster stuff and gods stuff scattered throughout. Most of it we already know from Bobby's collection. There's a bunch of balony text, too - as is standard - plus a couple dozen copies of _that_ ," he points at Cas' hands with his pizza tip. "So, we figured we should see what else was down there that might be useful."

He joins Cas by the map printouts, newspaper clippings, highlighted notes, and online article stubs. He watches as Cas traces delicate fingers over the black leather and gold-embossed spine. There's something about the way he handles it - with such care, and hesitation. It's a little odd, but then again he did kinda the same thing with Chuck's books, only this time he doesn’t even open it. 

"It's a graphic novel," Dean explains, "Words and images put together in a badass, super freaky, pretty damn cool comic strip setup." He'd been more impressed by it than Sam. Apparently his brother's passion for all things Geek was another thing that'd been left behind, tied to his soul. It's one thing Dean never thought he'd miss.

Cas is still regarding the ripples in the leather when Dean's pocket vibrates. "You find somethin'?" The last thing he expects to hear are the words _Demon_ and _Blood_ , but measured against the bar of strangeness and crappy circumstance that is their lives, Dean's not as freaked out as he probably should be.

_..Soulless Sam, Heaven at war with itself, Purgatory existing, Angelic pizza-men.. anything's possible these days._

"What about Demon Blood?" Cas must feel Dean's eyes on him because he looks up to pay attention. Dean nods along. Shakes his head. Wishes he had that spare Johnny to wash down the news. "Yeah, okay. Grab what you can. Forget finding a new case, we'll head to Bobby's in the morning." Hanging up, Dean can feel Cas' eyes on him. "Apparently, St. Bruno's has a book on Demons we haven't seen before. Says somethin' about Demon _blood_ relating to Purgatory, but Sam can't read much of it. Says it's in 'some kind of code'," and Dean shakes his head away from the shadowy thought of just how much of 'Sam' is really left. 

_Code-breaking_? He used to do that shit for fun - at breakfast, before Dean had even poured his first cup of coffee. Now he.. _can't_? Or he's just not interested? Dean's not sure which is worse. 

Cas' face steals back to Angelness, all signs of wariness painted over with a blank canvas. He glances at the clock a little oddly, and places the book gently down on the nightstand. "I have to go." 

And it's not like Dean expected him to stay, but it would've been nice. 'Least he brought pizza. "Yeah, okay. We'll keep in touch, let you know what we find." 

Cas nods, and Dean can tell he's about to _I Dream of Jeannie_ it outta there, so he quickly adds, "―You too, you hear me? Don't be a stranger." They lock eyes for a moment, and it feels like old times. "Thanks for the pizza." 

With a tilted trace of a smile, Cas nods again, softer. "Be careful, Dean." 

The fridge kicks on as invisible wings take flight. An owl hoots somewhere outside, waiting for an answer. It's suddenly quiet. The room feels empty in a way it hadn't before. Lonely. 

Dean flicks on the old box set, turns some late night movie low, and snags the pizza box along with the little black book to settle down on the neatly made bed, tossing his duffel aside.

HP Lovecraftmay have some relevance to what they're dealing with but for now he just reads for the hell of it. To get lost in it; someplace else, somehow familiar. It's a clue, a step in the right direction, hopefully. And although it's not exactly a comfort, there's something grounding in knowing the answers are out there, somewhere. They just gotta keep looking. 

There's fiction and there's reality, and sometimes the impossible is what's real. Sometimes it's a nightmare instead of a dream. That's the Hunter life - figuring out what's dark fantasy and what's really lurking in the shadows. 

No Lisa, no Ben. No Sam, even if he walked through that door right now. Bobby three states away. Cas off at war. 

He's got pizza and Lovecraft's Cosmicism and Mitchum on the grainy tube. It's not everything, but it's enough. With any luck he'll dream of something better, something more. Probably the best he can hope for, really: if he can't have a better life, dreams might be the closest he'll ever get. 

But as long as he gets his four hours he'll manage - dreams (or nightmares) or no. 

The telltale pitter-patter of rain starts in, grows steadily heavier as the pages turn, the black-and-white noir futzing and pizza filling him, making him sleepy. He drifts off to the flicker of blue neon through the tear in the curtain by his bed, distantly wishing he'd removed his boots, or at least his belt; it's digging into him, but he knows on the plus side he'll be ready to jump up and fight if something goes bump in the night.

Just another night in the Hunter's life.

**Author's Note:**

> ♡ you can [**like + reblog on tumblr**](https://theheartchoice.tumblr.com/post/186250522823/providence-cv) if you want to ♡
> 
>   
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
> So.. on the basis of wanting to prove I can avoid crack for these Bot-Stat Prompts, I've decided to do them in non-crack form ~~_obviously I'm insane_~~. I've created ~~_yet another_~~ series that will house them [**RIGHT HERE**](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1426141). They'll all be set in Canonverse and as close to Canon Compliant as I can manage. These coda-esque creations may not be posted in chronological order but I will sort them that way within the series so you can just click on through to the *next work* when reading.   
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
> It's not perfect, but it's done. I just wanted to raise a bunch of questions, prompt some theories. I hope I managed that. I love doing prompt-fills and these little challenges are such fun! I'm somewhat proud I started and finished this one in just a couple of days, too (even though I went over the word limit). And I dunno about the title, kay? I dunno. 
> 
> _[I didn't really go into this with Destiel front-n-centre in my mind, so that explains why it's barely there. I love writing Dean's POV so I just kinda curled the other prompts around him._ ]
> 
> I really love Season 6 for giving us one last _hurrah!_ with that muted-filter, angsty vibe (before the comical horror of Leviathan in s7, and s8 giving us very distinct aesthetics with Purgatory and then the Bunker.. I miss the dark nitty-gritty of the early seasons). I loved so many elements of s6 but wish they'd indulged the _Lovecraftian_ horror concept more, melded it with their patented vibe of Angels and Demons, with the grey matters of Human-Monster dynamics, and Real Good V Real Evil. Dean's year with Lisa, soulless!Sam, the Destiel everywhere, and of course the heart wrenching betrayal was all _brilliant_. I didn't like a bunch of the episodes (some OOC stuff, plus certain plot stuff), and I much prefer Crowley in every season after, and making Cas the bad guy felt fundamentally _wrong_ \- especially with the ending - but _the Destiel was strong this season_ , and all that crap just strengthened their bond in the long run. That said, it's still a season I love going back to rewatch (maybe actually _specifically_ for the secrets and lies and betrayal and all that angst that hurts so good!).


End file.
